Deployment...

Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

But actually that's NOT true. One thing deployments are GREAT for is figuring out who your true friends are! I've known that since last deployment. And I always tend to lose some "friends" while he's deployed or gone. I don't know if its because I'm a cranky bitch, 'cause I don't have time for stupid bullshit, or if I just get forgotten about. Either way, sometimes it REALLY sucks!

This deployment I have been somewhat surprised by the friends I lost and the friends I've gained. Of course there were some that were no surprise at all. And that goes in both directions. I have some really great true friends that I KNEW would be there for me no matter what. And I had some that I knew MIGHT say they'd be there but when it came down to it I probably would rarely hear from them for the next year. And I was okay with that.

However, I am SHOCKED at some of the "friends" I've lost. Especially the ones that I thought understood and that I just KNEW would be there for me. Man was I wrong. Some of these "friends" haven't even contacted me since he left. That doesn't mean we haven't talked, but its few and far between, and even then it's not for any real length of time. I thought some of my friends might step up knowing I was having a bad day or a rough time. Did they? NOPE. So, I have given up on those "friends". Why would I want people in my life that don't want to support me and be there for me but expect me to be there for them?

But I've also been really shocked at the friends I've gained. Ladies I just recently met & some never even in person that are there for me. That ask me how I'm doing, and listen to me when I'm having a bad day. Ladies I used to be friends with but haven't really hung out with in YEARS. Some I've only hung out with on a few occasions but are there for me no matter what. Just as I am there for them. That's what true friendship is.

So, as sad as I am about losing the friends I have, some of which I've been friends with for years, I am really happy for the ones I have gained. These last (almost) 4 months and these months to come have been and will be one of the hardest times of my life. I need people I can count on and need them to know they can count on me. And I've found that. So I say goodbye to the ones lost but am welcoming my new friendships. And what a very bittersweet thing it is.

Sometimes it hurts to know that people aren't who they say they are and aren't who you thought they were. But in the end it's best that you know. At least you aren't surprised by their actions and wasting your time and effort on something that isn't there.