Week 21

WOW!!!! We are already 21 weeks down?!?!?! That is just crazy to me! Time is just flying by. But that's a good thing! This was a REALLY busy week! Not a ton of fun but still really busy!

This week I:

• Went to my MIL's house and helped her 2 days. 
• Ran errands.
• Volunteered at the walkathon at my boys school. Got to work it with my twin so that was actually a TON of fun!
• Got out and danced to the Macarena and Cha Cha Slide. Totally showed those kids what was up. Plus only slightly embarrassed my oldest. Win!
• Had lunch with the twin :)
• Made it back to weight watchers. Up from 3 weeks ago but down from last week. I kinda dived head first off the wagon when I found out about the extension. But I'm back on it now and that's all that really matters :)
• Read 5 chapters of The Hunger Games with my boys. They are loving it too.
• Watched The Hunger Games with my boys. 
• Worked out 3 days. Love love love Turbo Jam. Just ordered the set!
• Made & sent hubs a box just like every other week. Hopefully he loves it :)
• Talked to the hubs for a bit on Friday. Always makes my week a ton better when I hear from him. 

Again, it was a busy week. Not necessarily a fun week but busy. And busy is very important during a deployment. And as always a few pics from our week 

Week 20

Well, I'm a wee bit late posting this. The boys were out for Spring Break last week and it was crazy. We had a lot of fun though. Had a lot of lazy days and I got to spend a day with each boy individually while the other went to my mom's house for a day of fun with her. Its been way too long since I've got to spend time one on one with my boys so I REALLY enjoyed it!

This week I:

• Went to the Casey James concert. And saw Corey Crowder there too. They were both BEYOND amazing. If you haven't heard them I would recommend checking them out. LOVED it!
• Went to the Aquarium with my MIL and my boys. Then out to eat at BWW. Haven't been there since hubs left so it was kinda bittersweet but we still had a lot of fun. The Aquarium was beyond packed so we didn't even get to see everything but the boys had a lot of fun so that's all that really matters.
• Got a call from my hubs Friday. First phone call that I've really felt like I didn't know what to say. But I was also in the car with my MIL and boys talking so it was kinda weird. 
• Made another care package. Loving this one! Can't wait to post about it. 
• Went out to eat and to the Casino with my mom & twin before the concert. Had a lot of fun! Lost the money I went in with but played for like 4 hours & had fun so I'm good with it. 
• Didn't even weigh in. I'm scurred. But I'm pulling myself back up on the wagon so this week will be MUCH better. 
• Watched the Hunger Games with my boys. They really enjoyed it & I hadn't seen it since hubs took me when it was still in theaters so I was happy to watch it too. 
• Was completely LAZY! I laid around and watched tv a lot with my boys. Sometimes that's just what you need. I enjoyed the time of doing NOTHING and got the time to relax. It's helped me pull myself out of my rut and get back in the happy mindset.
• Came up with another awesome care package idea. I'm super stoked about it & I think hubs is gonna love it!!!

That's about it for our week. It was fun, it was lazy, it was just what we needed. 

And as always some pics of our week:

I'm Fine.

I find myself saying those words a lot lately. Sometimes they are true. Sometimes not so much. But I'll keep on saying it anyways. I put a smile on my face and keep driving on day after day. I do it for a lot of reasons. I do it so my husband, who is going through far worse things than I do on a daily basis, knows that I am strong and capable of handling things here on the home front while he's gone. I do it so that those that are going through this too know that they can count on me. That I am here for them and I can help them with their problems too. I do it for my kids. So that they see me doing well and being strong through all this and know that they can come to me, but also so that they know I can handle this.

But whether me saying it is true or not on any given day isn't really my point. My point is that sometimes I need help too. I have people I can turn to and yes, sometimes I do. But what REALLY gets to me is when I TRY to turn to someone and mention that I am having a hard time or that I need help and they tell me I don't! Especially when that person has no clue how I am doing or what I am going through. Just because I don't break down on a daily or even weekly basis doesn't mean that this entire thing is not affecting my daily life. Just because you don't see my struggles or my hardships doesn't mean they aren't there. All it means is that you aren't compassionate and that I learned very quickly not to ever come to you again. You are one of those people that I ALWAYS have to put on my happy face for and always have to say I'm fine. That I'm doing really well and this deployment isn't bothering me. Because if I do come to you, you are just going to make me feel weak, and like I don't have the right to say I need help.

But you are wrong. Everyone has the right to ask for help from those that they are close to when they are having a hard time. Even when they aren't completely losing it or falling apart. Especially when they aren't completely falling apart, because asking for that help, that support, and actually receiving it might be the only thing that keeps them together. And being there for one another is exactly what friends and family are for. You shouldn't compare my hardships to yours or anyone else's because ya know what? You have NEVER had to go through what I do, and neither have they. And even if they did, we all handle things differently. And that's okay.

So whether I'm "fine" or not, I need to know people are there for me. That they are going to be there to help me up when I fall. Just like those people should know that I am there for them. I guess this really just brings me back to the entire thing about being shocked by those that have been there for me and those that weren't. It amazes me that when I do say I'm having a hard time, the people that reach out to help me and to lift me up, and realize I CAN do this. And those that just ignore it or shoot me down and say I don't need help. I would only need help if I was falling apart and calling them daily in tears. That's just not me. That never has been and never will be. There are 2 people in this world that I turn to no matter what time of day it is or no matter how petty the problem seems to be. And one of those is thousands of miles away, and needs to know he can count on me. The other, I have leaned on for anything and everything my entire life and I will continue to do so. She is the ONLY person throughout this deployment who will always really know how I'm doing and what I'm feeling and thinking. She is the one person that I KNOW I can count on no matter what over this next year or 2. And I thank God I have her EVERY day. I honestly don't know what I would do without her.

But I've gotten a little off track with this. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you have a friend or even just an acquaintance that you know is having a hard time, reach out to them. Even if they say they are "fine". You never know how much it will mean to them and how much it will help them with their struggles.

Extension...?!?!?!

WTF DO YOU MEAN EXTENSION?!?!?! Yeah that was pretty much my first reaction to this news. But we talked about it before he ever even left so that was my reaction to the entire deployment too.

But Dick & I have been discussing this on & off for months now. He's never said he didn't want to extend but just dropped it some times so I took that as no extension. Boy was I wrong. He's decided that he wants to extend. I say he decided even though we talked about it together because I put my 2 cents in. My thoughts, my worries, my pros & cons. But in the end I left the decision up to him and told him I would support him in whatever he chose.

And he has made his decision. He's gotten as much info as he can, and I believe has started the paperwork. So I decided that it was time to let people know. My life just changed... again. I'm probably gonna be a cranky bitch for a while... again. And I'll find out who my true friends are... again.

As far as the extension goes we're pretty sure they are 9 months. Don't think there are any 6 month ones available. At least from what I've been told. So 9 months is what I'm going with. This changes a LOT for me for the next year. A 1 year deployment has now turned into an almost 2 year deployment. My 6 & 7 year olds will be 8 & 9 when their Daddy gets back. Like I said. A LOT has changed. And a lot will continue to change. I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all but I'll get there.

I'm also focusing on the positives, yes it's hard to do but if I can try to focus on the pros of extension then I think I'll have an easier time with it.
So my pros include:

• I WILL be at my goal weight when he gets home. I'll have an extra 9 months to do so, so there are NO excuses.
• A LOT more money. Sounds shallow, and I'd much rather have him home but hey its a major pro so gotta include it.
• More twin time. Yep more weeks where I just get to spend time with my most favorite-est adult in the entire country!
• More care packages. This is by far my favorite part of deployment. I love everything about this. Coming up with themes, shopping for them, putting them together, sending them. All of it. Well except for the reason WHY I'm sending them, but I don't focus on that. 

Well there ya have it. The few pros I can come up with at the moment. I'm sure as time progresses I'll come up with more pros, and more cons. But as long as the pros (for him & our entire family not just for me) outweigh the cons, then I'll still be happy. Not that I am happy with the extension. That's not quite the right word, but I will get happy about it. 

The way I see it I have 3 choices. I can 1) Support him. 2) Tell him to not follow after his dreams. or 3) leave him. Those last 2 are just not options in my book. So I am supporting him. Like a good wife should. I love him and we are supposed to support those we love. I would expect him to support me in what I wanted to do and what I thought was best for our family. And I will do the same for him.

No matter how long he is gone I will ALWAYS be right here waiting for him. Maybe not patiently. I'm not a very patient person, but I will be waiting. Faithfully. No matter what! 

Week 19!

We are finally 19 weeks down! And anywhere from 33-72 weeks left. Lets just say some major things could be changing and I am preparing for the 72 weeks left part. But nothing is set yet so as of right now we know nothing. Hmm... imagine that? Knowing NOTHING in the Army? So, if y'all haven't noticed I haven't been putting how much we have left anymore. This is why. And this will be the last time I post about it or say it until we are certain it's happening. We also haven't talked to the boys about it yet so if you see them, please don't say anything. And for anyone who reads this, who's man is with mine, this only applies to us as far as I know. If you have questions about it, just message me :)

So with all that being said this was a very stressful week. I got this news on Saturday and drank my feelings that day. But I've been eating my feelings since. That stops NOW. Luckily I haven't gained anything back but I sure haven't lost this week either. Well not since Saturday anyways. So our week consisted of:

• Taking my car to the shop.
• Losing .6 lbs on Saturday. Not much but I made it to my 5 % goal so I was happy bout that. 
• Making an Easter care package & sending that off.
• Starting on another one. Another one I'm really excited about :)
• Had girl's night! It was a BLAST!!! Bowling, bar and home! Loved it and it was just what I needed after the morning I had. Love those girls & I don't know WHAT I'd do without them!
• Twin time with Lisa. Favorite part of my week every week (minus hearing from the hubs of course). I never understood what Dick meant when he said he needed Choir practice to make it through the week. Now I do. I honestly don't think I could make it through each week without my twin time. Just when I'm thinkin I can't do this anymore, well look tomorrow I get to spend time with Lisa and it always cheers me up, maybe I CAN do this some more. 
• Went & bought stuff for Dick.
• Made a payment on his Jet Ski. 
• Turned in MORE ppwk to the Indians. Hey, at least I'm on top of it!
• Clean clean cleaning. I don't feel like I do enough of this anymore. But without Dick here it also stays cleaner longer. I guess there's always a silver lining right?
• Talked to Dick and found out some info I'm not really sure HOW I feel about it. Actually that happened twice this week. Its been a very weird very stressful week to say the least. 

And as always some pics from our week. This week wasn't very exciting and besides girls night we didn't really do much, SO not a ton of pics. 

Care Packages 10 & 11: St Patrick's Day

Well I talked to Dick today and he has received one of his 2 St. Paddy's Day care packages. Yep. Thats right. I sent him 2! Don't judge! I bought WAY too much stuff as usual and had a few requests from the hubs. But it's all good. I LOVE making care packages and hadn't made one in quite a while. And I am SHOCKED that one is already there. I only sent it out Monday. So in less than a week he got it. I say thats pretty damn good timing!

These two boxes were themed "IRISH you were here" and " You shamROCK my world. In them were:

• Green cups
• Mike & Ikes
• Cupcakes & icing
• Gum
• Skittles
• Silly sting... found out AFTER I sent this that you aren't supposed to send it. I guess you aren't supposed to send anything aerosol... OOPS. 
• Crackers
• Shamrock undies
• Homemade goodies with pretzels, Hershey's kiss & mint m&ms
• sunflower seeds
• MIO... this goes in EVERY box. He likes me to send at least 2 per box so I just try to match it with my theme
• Chips
• Kleenexes

Hopefully he gets the 2nd box soon. :) And here are pics of them.

Week 18!

WOW!!! I was soo busy talking to my hubs today I didn't even think about it being Friday and us being yet another week down!!! This week has been CRAZY!!!

This week I have:

• Talked to my hubs online almost every day.
• Skyped with my hubs. And the boys got to Skype with him before school one day. It was AWESOME!
• Went to the circus with my sister & our boys!
• Hung up some new decor in my room. 
• Got the craft room almost all decorated. 
• Went and saw Safe Haven. OMG SOOO good!!!
• Made & shipped out TWO St. Paddy's Day care packages. 
• Got my hair cut & some color put in it. First time in like 3 years so it was pretty awesome!
• Had an AWESOME twin time. 
• Got flowers from my hubby for NO reason. Just cuz he's amazing!

It was a GREAT week! I had a LOT of fun this week. And tomorrow is Girls Night. I can't WAIT!!!

And as always. More pics of our week. :)