Today...

Today I just want to hear his voice.
Today I just want to see his smiling face.
Today I just want to feel his arms around me.
Today I just want to kiss him instead of his picture.
Today I just want his smell back in the house.
Today I just want to trip over his big shoes.
Today I just want to hear his laughter.
Today I just want him to pick on me.
Today I just want to clean up after him.
Today I just want to have him next to me.
Today I just want my countdown to be over.
Today I just want to quit worrying.
Today I just want him home. With me. Where he belongs.


But instead...

Today I will go to bed alone.
Today I will deal with the silence.
Today my heart will ache a little bit more.
Today I will mark another day off my countdown.
Today I will be more proud of him than I ever thought possible.
Today I will try to hold back the tears.
Today I will worry.
Today I will do my best to make him proud.
Today I will make another care package to make things just a little bit easier for him.
Today I will kiss his picture goodnight.
Today I will tuck the kids into bed.
Today I will say I'm fine.
Today I will pick up the pieces.
Today I will tell him I love him online.
Today I will tell him I miss him.
Today I will reassure my children that their Daddy loves and misses them very much
Today I will pray for his safety.
Today I will keep driving on. Just like every other day because
Today I will remind myself that another day gone means another day closer to him being home.